I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
only if we run a train.
done.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
