I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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