Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
