he thought i was a dude.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
