Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
