Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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