she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
