So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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