Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
