I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
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