When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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