I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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