also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
