if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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