Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
