I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
