I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize