Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
