Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You're like the curious george of whores
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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