No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
