Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
