Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
