What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
