Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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