Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
