omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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