He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
