I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
