I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
