were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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