Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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