Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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