I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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