:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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