i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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