are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
