3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
