ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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