Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
