I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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