Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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