is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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