Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
