Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Randomize
