I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
