I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
my shit smells like andre
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
