Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
