Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
