i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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