Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Randomize
