so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
