Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
